Traditions
by My Dictator Level is Over 9000
Summary: He didn't need two eyes to see through their abuse. They didn't want him and they never did, they never WOULD. A Thanksgiving Story, sort of. Rated T for Violence and Tragedy. IOD and IBD Special/Side Story and Side Story to 'This is a Backstory'.


**Authors Note: Longest...Oneshot...Evar! Some Tragedy mixed in here as well so be warned. LET'S START THIS SPECIAL!**

* * *

_There's only five days of Thanksgiving Vacation and dinner comes along just to end it,_

_So the annual problem for most generations, is finding a good way to make it…_

_LIKE MAYBE-!_

_Making a turkey,_

_Making some stuffing,_

_And shoving up the turkey's butt…_

_Starting a grease fire, and calling the cops_

_Or giving a cyborg a shower!_

_*Guitar*_

_Surfing the internet,_

_Makin pumpkin pies,_

_Or locating the fruit cake from last year!_

_Watching football,_

_Screaming at the ref,_

_And hoping no one gets punched in the face!_

_As you can see,_

_There's a whole lot of stuff to do, before the guests arrive..._

_*smash!*_

Doof: PLATYBORG!

_So stick with us cuz Platyborg is dumb and he's gonna eat it all!_

Platyborg: HEY!

_So stick with us, cuz Platyborg is dumb and he's gonna eat it all…_

Vanessa: DAD! Platyborg ate all of the potatoes!

*Guitar Riff like in the show*

* * *

'**NattyMc's IOD & IBD Thanksgiving Special': **

* * *

"Doof!" Platyborg called through the house, until he finally found the dictator in the kitchen digging through a low cabinet. "Doof! My head plate is too tight again! I need you to fix it!"

Doofenshmirtz stopped looking for what he was looking for to take his head out of the cabinet, looking at the cyborg.

Platyborg pulled on the black metal plate in exasperation, obviously frustrated and trying to wretch it off "I don't want to wear this stupid thing anymore!"

"It just needs to be readjusted again."

"I hate it!"

"You have to wear it."

"I don't wanna!"

The man sighed, glancing at the clock. "You're just cranky because it's past your bed time."

"No I'm not!" The cyborg stamped his foot, just showing Doof's point that he was in fact cranky.

Doof looked at the clock again "You should have been in bed two hours ago when I tucked you in. Why aren't you asleep?"

"It was bothering me."

"I can't do this right now, can't you wait until tomorrow for me to fix it?"

"No…" Platyborg said, and then pointed when he saw a scapegoat. "But, why does Vanessa get to be up?"

Doofenshmirtz turned to see his daughter. Vanessa froze in front of the kitchen doorway in purple pajamas and a laptop, slowly put her foot down and not taking another step.

She scowled "Thanks a lot, Idiot-borg."

The cyborg stuck his tongue out and made a face at her, Vanessa stuck her tongue out and returned it, making that 'nyuh!' mocking noise.

"How about this?" Doofenshmirtz stood up from kneeling in front of the open cabinet. "Both of you can go prove to me that you're _not _three years old by fixing Platyborg' head plate together and then putting yourselves to bed."

"I'm not a _mechanic_ like you are, dad! I don't _know _how to fix a head plate!" His daughter told him "And besides, what if I mess up and fry his brains out or something? He'd like die. Do you really want to take that risk, _knowing _how much I like him?"

The man handed her a wrench with a smile "Have fun." And went back to searching in the cabinets.

Vanessa scowled, then sighed. "Fine. Come on stupid." And grabbed the cyborg by his head plate, dragging him out of the kitchen and down the hallway.

Platyborg flailed the whole way to her bedroom, trying desperately to get out of his predicament. "No! Uh, it doesn't hurt anymore, I swear! I- I just wanted Doof's attention, that's all!"

"Be quiet! Doing this just might get me a new car and I am going to fix that plate like there's no tomorrow!"

"But I want to actually _live_to see tomorrow!" The cyborg argued and was only answered by her bedroom door being opened and him being all but thrown in. He landed in a laundry basket, he popped out with a brazier hanging from his head. He took notice of it and screamed, flailing to get it away and scrambling out of the basket of clothes.

The teen looked down at him "You better pick up all those clothes you knocked over before you leave or else I'm tying you up in that bra and hanging you over the balcony!" She said and then calmed down, fiddling with the wrench. "Okay now how do I fix this little helmet of yours?"

Platyborg climbed out of the overturned basket and walked over to her, pointing to a screw on the non-visible part of his head. "You just twist that thing that way and adjust that button." He told her and she kneeled down to do it.

Vanessa tightened in with ease at first but then it got harder, she had to grab on to his head for leverage. She groaned "Why do you have to wear this thing in the first place?"

"Doof says I'm special."

She just shrugged and proceeded to tighten the bolt, once it was all tightened she adjust that knob thingy and they were all set. "Alright." She stood up, throwing the tool to the side where it landed on her bed. "I guess I'll walk you to your room or whatever…"

They walked to the door over to hers, where his room was. She argued with her father about why he had to be next door to her or better yet, even on the same floor! He told her that it was for "safety reasons" and if there was ever a fire or a situation where he had to find them and get out quickly, then they were both in the same place. Vanessa brought up the small issue he'd have if one of them wasn't in their rooms, then what would he do? He answered her in a second, not even thinking about his answer. He said then he'd get whoever was in their room out and then go back and find the other. She just called him a control freak and left his office.

After reaching the cyborg's room, just seconds later, she opened the door, allowing him to walk inside and hop in his bed. The teen was about to walk out when the thing stopped her.

"Wait! Vanessa?"

"What?" She answered in an irritated tone. She was tired, and she just wanted to go to bed. Of course the stupid thing wouldn't make this easy! He was probably plotting to make her have a hard time all along!

"Can you sit with me for a little while?"

Vanessa rolled her eyes, closing his door and sitting on the edge of his bed. Oddly enough, it was pretty big. Probably just about queen size, he barely even took up any room in it. She waited for a few long, silenced, seconds before asking him. "Is that enough, or did you want me to sit here longer?"

He looked disappointed and hesitant before finally asking "Can you stay until I go to sleep?"

"Aren't you a little old for this?"

"No…" Platyborg pouted.

She gave an exasperated sigh before getting under the blanket next to him. "There. Now go to-" Vanessa didn't get to finish her sentence as she blinked down at the cyborg that was now curled up against her side, breathing calmly. She had half a mind to storm out and slam the door to wake him up, he'd frown before knocking on her door and begging to be allowed in. She'd laugh in his face and slam the door even harder in the last place mentioned. She had half a mind to do all these things…yet she didn't want to for some odd reason. She blamed it on the lack of sleep and shut her eyes, muttering a word before letting her head rest on a pillow.

"_Freak…"_

Platyborg- with his eyes still closed –smiled.

* * *

Doofenshmirtz jumped with a start, catching himself from falling. He had been leaning on the counter, falling in sleep, beforehand he caught himself. When had he fallen asleep? He looked at what he had accomplished so far and groaned. His parents were flying all the way here for Thanksgiving and he barely had anything accomplished. Not that he cared though, he _hated_ his parents almost as much as they despised him. At least he was pretty sure they did. He didn't know what the hell happened to them after he had kids. Oh wait, he did. They turned into 'nice people'. It was like the moment Vanessa was born, they became completely different people. They even dropped the charges filed against him for…

Well, if you keep reading 'This is a Backstory' then you'll find out. They also became even a little nicer once they found out he had a little boy, or in this case, a little cyborg male animal….thing. The last time they visited, they treated Platyborg absolutely terrible and they were harshly scolded for it. Funny thing is, _he_ wasn't the one to scold them. It was _Vanessa_, oddly enough. He just happened to come within earshot at the exact moment and he would have never expected anything like that to come out of her mouth. Basically, he never expected to hear the words: "Platyborg" "Little Brother" "Is my" in the same sentence and not in that exact order. "Surprised" "he" was?" Yes. Shocked? Yes. Proud?

He had never been prouder. Someone had finally stood up to them and that someone just happened to be his own daughter.

Doofenshmirtz sighed at the crowded counter, the bag of flour, spices, a turkey and many other things he was supposed to make food out of for tomorrow evening and it was already 2AM at that. He was only doing this so his kids could have loving grandparents and could experience what it was like to _have _two loving people in their lives. _He _never had that, no love, nothing, and that was why he tried his best to love Vanessa and Platyborg to death. He was also scared of losing them because of his own selfless acts.

He had made a lot of enemies and the list kept growing. Many wanted him dead and some weren't scared to try. Hell, some _have _tried- and failed –but if something happened to his kids because someone was trying to get to him, whether they had shot a gun and missed or deliberately hurt them to get to him then he'd be the only one to blame. Why was he so hate-able?

A lot of people could probably answer why. He was evil, it was his nature. His parents were sadists and it was only natural that this gene got passed on to him as well. He didn't know whether to hate it or not. It skipped Roger, for some reason, but targeted him and even worse. There was only one good thing to come out of all this evil.

He could control it…

He could control it and focus it to better things than just being horrible to everyone and everything. Obviously, he'd never hurt his children. He'd kill himself before he so much as laid a finger on them for his own gain. If they didn't listen to him, then fine, he'd deal with it some other way, but he would _never _smack them around to make them do as he said. He wouldn't try to exterminate them just because he didn't want to deal with them. He would _absolutely NOT _send them to someone else to be 'properly' handled. He'd never hurt them…

Doofenshmirtz left the kitchen, procrastination hitting him with full force like an oncoming projectile directed at his skull. He was that deep. He walked down some hallways, silence echoing through them all, and found Platyborg's room. He always checked on them during the night for…safety…measures…

He was cautious and precise with most everything, especially when it came to those close around him. Only those he kept close he could trust. It took a while for him to cross Ege off his suspicions list. Pronounced 'Eeej' by the way, is what he calls his significant other. No they weren't married but 'girlfriend' just sounds….sappy. She was shorter than him, purple dress and moon earrings with reddish, brownish, afrotisque hair.

At first he thought she was a ploy, sent out by someone to destroy him or something like that. They were intimate the first night and he came to his senses the morning after. What was he doing? Rodney recommended her, was he on narcotics? For all he knew, someone could have slipped something into something he had drunken or he could have been drugged, but when she woke up smiling by his side, all suspicion within his being shriveled up quickly.

Turns out, she _was _a ploy by Rodney. Her assignment was to 'infiltrate him' and then murder him once he was weak or least expected it. She could have done it. She could have rolled over and slit his throat, but, for some reason she chose not to. Doofenshmirtz to this day asks her if she was insane that night. She hadn't anything to her name and was being offered over a million dollars to kill one person yet she didn't take it.

The girl always answered the same way, and with a content smile _"What are the odds that me, without a penny to my name, would fall in love with this one person?"_

He still labeled her as nuts. Why would she bother to tie herself down to him? He was…complicated, and complex. Why deal with him? Everyone around him had a tendency to be in danger and he told her that, yet she still stayed with him. It was a good thing Roddenstein didn't know that they had actually hit it off. He had to bite his tongue at the meetings when he witnessed the man flirting with her. On any other occasion it would be completely different, but in order to keep her around- and safe –he had to pretend he wasn't with her, and he'd do what he had to, to protect the ones he-

Doofenshmirtz twisted the knob of the door, silently pushing it open so as not to wake Platyborg. When he was inside, he blinked, and then blinked a few more times to make sure he wasn't seeing things.

Platyborg laid curled up to Vanessa, her arm draped around him in an embrace and the teen's head resting on his, both lightly breathing. He stared for a while, just watching them, his heart metaphorically swelling in his chest. He loved them, _so much_, words couldn't even describe how much love he had for these two gimps of life. He'd do anything and everything for them, to make them happy or keep them safe, whatever they needed.

With newfound willing and determination, he exited the room, shutting the door behind him cautiously and turning on his heel toward the kitchen to make the best meal ever for his horrible parents so that they would adore his kids to their little hearts desires. He may not have gotten their love at all, but he was going to make sure his children got it, even if he had to slave all night in the kitchen to do it.

* * *

Platyborg opened his eye, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of it. He blinked and looked around his room. The clock read 9AM and Vanessa was still asleep next to him, haven not left his room during the course of the night. He shook her shoulder gently.

"Psst, Vanessa…" She stirred and groaned, trying to pull the blanket over her head.

The cyborg sighed, clearing his throat and yelling. "Vanessa!"

Vanessa jumped, falling over the side of the bed, blushing and then glaring at the thing as it laughed.

Platyborg laughed "Good Morning!"

She growled, lunging at him. After a 45 minute wrestle/pillow fight, they made their way down to the kitchen, smelling something. Hopes of breakfast, filling their heads.

The two entered the kitchen, freezing in their tracks. The kitchen counter was full of ingredients and over thawed 'Thanksgiving foods', ham, turkey and more food. None of it was cooked of course, and Doofenshmirtz was asleep, leaning against the counter, fast asleep. He looked exhausted, although the kids couldn't tell from what. Nothing was even cooked yet.

Actually, now that Vanessa thought about it, her father had been looking a little…_sick _lately. Definitely less capable…and maybe it was just her, but didn't he look slightly paler?

Platyborg was about to wake the man up and ask when breakfast was going to be ready, him being _that _clueless, when a feminine hand was clamped over his mouth and he was pulled out into the hallway. He fought in her grasp until he was let go and turned around to face her. He gave her an annoyed look. "What was that for?"

"You were about to wake him up, you itty bitty idiot!" She whispered harshly.

"So?"

"He's exhausted! Don't you see? He's a single parent and there are two of us, not to mention how far we are in age range! It must be tiring to keep up with the both of us!" She stopped and then wondered aloud. "…How old are you again?"

"Seven." The cyborg blinked.

"Is that in human years or animal years?"

"What's the difference?"

Vanessa shook her head "Never mind. My reasoning is, dad is exhausted and since he always does everything for us, why don't we do one nice, big, thing for him? Sound like a plan? I'm sure between the two of us, we could totally make a decent Thanksgiving dinner, one that grandma and grandpa will love and never forget! We'll even tell them dad made it!"

"Why would we tell them that?"

"To make him look good, duh!" She put her hands on her hips "Are you always this slow?"

"Doof says I'm special."

"Whatever. Are you in or not?"

"Okay." Platyborg shrugged.

"Excellent!" Vanessa smiled. "So it's a plan!"

"…Can we have breakfast first?"

"Yes…" She rolled her eyes, walking back into the kitchen. "We can have breakfast first…"

The cyborg followed her back inside "Can we have toast?"

"Sure."

"And bacon?"

"Maybe."

"Can you make me eggs?"

"No."

"I like them scrambled."

"Yep…"

"…and crunchy. Can you leave the shells in?"

"Now, you're pushing it."

"…Sorry."

* * *

Vanessa gently coaxed her father awake. Speaking in a almost angelic like and soft voice "Dad…Hey, come on, wake up…"

Platyborg took a deep breath "YO, DOOF!"

The dictator jumped awake and the teen smacked the cyborg in the back of the head.

"Hey!" Platyborg scowled, rubbing the back of his head and glaring back at her.

Vanessa sighed, turning her attention back to her now rudely awakened father.

"Hey…" Doofenshmirtz yawned "I thought I told you to go to bed hours ago..." Another yawn and a heavy-lidded eye "What are you doing up at 3 in the morning?"

"It's not-" The cyborg started but was quickly elbowed by the teen.

Vanessa quickly took over this conversation, changing the subject almost completely "You should get some rest, you look _exhausted_. Don't worry, Platyborg and I can take over perfectly from here."

The man didn't look that convinced "No, no, I can-"

"You _can't_." She told him and started leading him out of the kitchen, hand around him. "I promise, we have everything under control. Go lie down and rest, we'll call you if we need anything. Okay?"

Whether he was too tired, or way past intoxicated or on narcotics, he agreed, allowing the slow and maybe dyslexic cyborg and the bratty, self-centered, teenager, to have the kitchen to themselves. This was all but short of a bad idea and the author is now afraid to think of what could happen next when these two are put in a room with a gas oven, flames, appliances, a toaster, knives, forks and the biggest danger of all….

Spoons.

Yes, yes I said spoons. You mad bro?

Vanessa smiled, turning on her heel and re-entering the kitchen. "Well, that takes care of dad then." She dusted her hands off for emphasis, satisfied, she barked. "Don't just stand there! Get cooking!"

"But you said we could have breakfast first!"

"Do I _look _like I know how to work a toaster?"

Platyborg blinked. "Is that a trick question?"

"No, no it's not!" She told him "I don't know how to work any of the appliances in this room, so you're going to have to help me with all of them."

"What makes you think_ I_ know how?" The cyborg stared at her.

"You're part machine! Shouldn't you know something about your own kind?"

Platyborg opened his mouth to say something but Vanessa automatically interrupted him, ordering.

"Now go turn on sister blender and put those potatoes inside of her!"

"Potatoes in a blender?"

"We're making mashed potatoes, you idiot! What do you _think_ is going to mash the potatoes up for us?"

"We can do that?"

"Of course we can!" Vanessa said, glaring, walking away from him and talking as she walked "Hop to it, while I go put the turkey in brother dishwasher…"

"A turkey in a dishwasher?"

"How else am I going to clean it? I swear, you are a complete idiot! I know what I'm doing!" She snapped.

Platyborg shrugged, picking up the bag of potatoes and grabbing a stool, standing on the stool to reach the blender. He reached into the sack and pulled out a potato, dropping it into the blender. "I am so sorry, sister blender." He apologized and started it up.

It made a lot of noise but eventually it grinded up the vegetable into a white substance. The cyborg picked up the blender, making the contents slosh around. It resembled milk in a way. He looked disappointed at the results, observing it. "Well…I guess we can have potato soup then…" Platyborg shrugged and opened the lid to put in another potato.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the kitchen, Vanessa was staring at the dishwasher, a 20 pound turkey on the counter next to her. She opened the dishwasher, it was empty and she placed the bird inside, shutting it and then staring at it expectantly. She blinked and clicked a button. Something was obviously happening because it started making this god awful noise; it was a mixture between a dying cat and the screech of a chalkboard. That was good enough for her and she casually walked away from it.

Vanessa stared at the jar of cranberry sauce, the chicken broth, carrots, stuffing –already made and in a bowl-, and peas. They were all vegetables, right? Might as well mix them together for more flavor. So that's what she did. She took the cranberry sauce and poured it in with the stuffing, then mixed the vegetables in, along with the chicken broth and this vial of glowing, green, liquid that just happened to be sitting there.

When she mixed it all together, it looked interesting. It was dark purple with a lighter purple aura around it and it glowed a bright green, almost radioactive looking. It was also very mushy….and kind of pretty…

"Platyborg!" She called over the sound of the blender, which sounded like a penguin stuck in a motor "How's those mashed potatoes coming along?"

From the other side of the room, Platyborg struggled to keep the blender at bay. It kept jumping and lurching forward at him. He opened the lid and the contents spewed in his face. "Sister Blender isn't happy with me!"

"Give her more potatoes, she'll come around."

"_Okay!"_

Vanessa sighed. Now what else was there to make? Let's see…

They had mashed potatoes, the turkey was being cleaned, the stuffing- uhh, casserole -was done. What other foods did you serve for thanksgiving? She tried to think of last year's thanksgiving dinner and the one before that, any food she had had then when he father did it before. A string of a thought came to her mind and it was just within thinking reach, that is, until she lost it completely.

"The potato soup is done." Platyborg told her, his face dripping white potato juice.

"Darn it, Platyborg! I was thinking! You just made me lose my train of thought!" She scolded him, not mentioning or asking how mashed potatoes supposedly became potato soup. "Do you know what else we're supposed to make for a traditional turkey dinner?"

The cyborg's stomach growled and he rubbed it longingly. "I could really go for some pie right about now…"

"That's perfect! Platyborg, you're a genius!"

"Doof says I'm special."

"I can't believe we forgot about dessert!" She paced "Um…I half remember something my mom taught me when I was10. It was a few weeks before my 5th grade graduation and to this day, I don't know what the heck she was saying. Something about fostering a child and being uncanny…" Vanessa shook her head to clear it "Then she picked up a can of squashed pumpkin…" She snapped, her face lighting up "I remember now! My mom makes pumpkin pie whenever she's upset! And she was upset for weeks, so she made pumpkin pie every day for like a month straight! If my memory is correct, then I know the recipe by heart!"

The cyborg nodded at her words. It seemed legit.

"We can make pumpkin pie, that is, if dad keeps any squashed pumpkins around in a can…" She trailed off, searching the pantry until she found the desired object. "Aha!"

Platyborg laughed to himself. He never saw her so enthusiastic before. She was always yelling at him or ignoring him completely and frowning at him. She was actually smiling as she plugged in the mixer. The girl actually looked confident and like she knew how to use it. The cyborg felt proud of her for some reason, his bill curling into a small smile.

Vanessa loaded the ingredients into the mixing bowl, tying her hair up so it was out of her eyes and wouldn't get in the food. A distinct ding was heard and she inwardly cursed to herself "Shoot! I forgot about the turkey! Do you think you can put it in the oven for me? And maybe look for another side dish we can use?"

The cyborg hid his smile, nodding in agreement before going to the dishwasher. It was silent, save for the sound of draining water. He hesitantly opened it, peering inside to see that it was safe, or whatever reason why he was worried about opening it. Steam came out, the smell of cooked turkey and oddly enough soap, filling his nostrils as he looked down at the shredded turkey that piled the floor of the dishwasher. He blinked. Welp, it didn't look like they'd need the oven then.

Platyborg shrugged and scooped the turkey slicing's/shreds onto a fancy silver dish. After that, he pulled his stool over to the pantry, looking around, he finally found a bag of egg noodles. "Seems legit." And hopped down from the stool, carrying the bag over and throwing the whole thing- bag and all –into the dishwasher. He closed it and it started up again, this time sounding like a mouse going through a shredder crossed with a lawn mower that's mowing metal. The thought made him cringe and he hurried away from the machine, urging himself to find more things to cook. It all played out well the rest of the morning, all the way up until between 3:30 and 4. Chances are, someone is showering at that very moment. Other chances are that some people changed their shower habits and set it to between 3:30 and 4 strictly for the fandom, just like the author did.

…None of you heard that.

* * *

It was 6:00 now, way past 3:30 and 4, and everything was finally ready and set on the table. Vanessa and Platyborg admired their work from the doorway. There was that turkey that was cooked in the dishwasher, all shredded and/or sliced. The jar of cranberry sauce, the chicken broth, carrots, vial of Pizzazium Infinionite that was inadvertently put into the mix, stuffing, and peas, made a lovely, purple and neon green, glowing, casserole dish. Noodles- slightly buttered –decorated the table nicely, haven been steamed in the dishwasher. The pumpkin pie fit nicely with the other three pies Vanessa had made. (Her mother was upset a lot and had an unhealthy obsession with pies as her outlet. It was kind of scary.)

This went surprisingly well, (In their minds at least.) They didn't get into a single argument. Although, they _did_ have trouble getting the corn out of the garbage disposal when they made the creamed corn…

"We did it! I had many, many, many, many, MANY doubts before, but we actually did it!" Vanessa smiled and then frowned at the time, and then their appearances "We should go clean ourselves up."

Platyborg nodded, wincing at his slightly mangled metal hand. It wasn't too bad but it'd definitely need some welding or something. Yeah, if you're ever making creamed corn, you shouldn't dare your younger sibling to stick their hand in there, it's just not kosher.

She winced too, feeling bad because she didn't think he'd _actually_ stick his hand in the garbage disposal. "We'll wrap that up for now and break the news to dad about your hand _after_ grandma and grandpa leave."

The cyborg nodded following her to the bathroom and watching as she got medical wrap out of the medicine cabinet. She gently took his hand and began wrapping it up in gauze, she proved to be extra careful and Platyborg vowed that the girl could be a nurse one day.

Vanessa stood back up, satisfied with what she did as they left their father's bathroom, sneaking past his room until they were out of earshot. "Get ready and meet me back in the kitchen in _fifteen minutes_, okay? We'll give dad a little longer to sleep before waking him so he could get ready. His parents should arrive soon after that and they are going to have the BEST _freaking dinner_ they will _ever_ have in the remainder of their lives!"

Platyborg thought she sounded a little peeved, even making her hand into a fist and the cyborg didn't know if it was for emphasis….or a threat.

She looked at the cyborg's shocked expression and quickly calmed herself. Vanessa shook it off, excusing herself and heading to her room to get ready.

The cyborg shrugged, going to his room to do the same.

* * *

15 minutes passed like a thin line breaker and soon the two were heading back to the kitchen, laughing and chatting, but when they got there…

Let's just say they didn't expect Doofenshmirtz to wake up on his own and he was now staring at the dinner table, kind of shocked and confused.

Vanessa and Platyborg silenced their chatting when they saw him, the teen taking over in conversation, she really was a natural born leader. "Hey dad" She greeted him and he turned, haven not noticed them being in the doorway until now. "We didn't expect you to wake up so soon. How did you sleep?"

He basically ignored the question, still focused on this layout in front of all of them. "Did you…did you make all of this?"

"We both did." She told him and it was then that Doofenshmirtz noticed Platyborg standing there.

The cyborg waved at him with his injured hand and the man's eye widened, Platyborg noticed what he was staring at and quickly hid the hand behind his back with a cheesy grin.

"What happened to your-" The dictator didn't get to finish asking because the doorbell rang and his daughter started to usher him out the room.

"They're here!" Vanessa pushed him towards his room "We'll stall them while you get ready. Platyborg, go get the drinks out!"

The cyborg ran to do so.

She kept ushering him but he didn't want to budge, still having many, many, questions to ask and still being confused as ever. His daughter wouldn't give in and he wondered when she became so strong.

"We've got everything under control, dad! Just get dressed and we'll stall them until you're ready."

Doofenshmirtz reluctantly agreed and left to go get ready. Vanessa sighed, putting on a fake smile and answering the door.

"Grandma! Grandpa! It's so great to see you!"

* * *

Doofenshmirtz was nervous, anxious, reluctant, and all but scared, to see his parents again. After all those things they did to him….he is now openly welcoming them into his house and around his own children.

He had to admit that they did do a good job with the dinner. He didn't even know Vanessa _knew_ how to work the microwave, let alone an oven! Platyborg was still young and knew very well he wasn't allowed to use or so much as _touch_ any appliances in there. A discussion would gladly be brought up later, along with a full explanation on what exactly _happened_ to his hand and why Vanessa allowed him to do it. Other than that, there was nothing he had to be concerned about. He changed his clothes and was now presentable, now in an exact copy of the clothes he was wearing before. Outfits never changed on anyone in this day and age. Then, there were people. He didn't know if they could fully change or not, personality and their ways wise, that is.

His parents….the ones who were supposed to love and care for him as a child, but instead did everything in their power to make sure he didn't exist and/or didn't want to exist, whichever would be quicker to cut his life short.

There were times where he wanted to give in, wanted them to just kill him already, times when he wanted to do it himself. He tried, once. His stupid brother revived him…

Roger always cared too much when he could, but couldn't when he didn't know what was going on. He was oblivious until he saw it with his own eyes, that was when the little boy finally believed his older brother.

His parents were busted finally, albeit by someone who couldn't do anything about it. He heavily encouraged Roger to forget everything and in time, the small boy did. Doofenshmirtz didn't even think his brother remembered now, anything at all. Which was somewhat good, but now he was the only witness to his own dark childhood, also his sister's murder and it was always his parent's word against his. He didn't bring up anything, it wasn't worth it. He remembered the different times his parents abused him, distinctly remembering one of the most gruesome and agonizing. He had a permanent scar to prove it. But he didn't _need_ two eyes to see through their abuse. They didn't want him, they never did.

Canajorie Doofenshmirtz. That would have been his sister's name, if only they had wanted her. He tried his best- as best as a ten year old could –to keep her alive after what they did to her. He failed because he wasn't smart then. He didn't know what she needed at that point, although in his eye he gave her everything she needed to survive after the same thing had happened to him. He was able to nurse himself back to health and eventually the pain went away.

He gave her food, water and kept her warm, he cared for her, but it wasn't enough. She was only a few weeks old, she couldn't take what a small boy could, she couldn't pull through it like he did and she got double his treatment. Doofenshmirtz only wished now that he could have seen her eyes, he bets they would have been beautiful, if only she had been given the chance to use them to see, to live, to prosper. She didn't even cry, not a whimper escaped her tiny mouth. She would have been strong, he could tell. He wished he could have defended her like he was able to defend himself.

He didn't even notice he was crying until now as he slowly came out of his thoughts. That was all over now, he had two, amazing, children that he would give his world for and he was able to protect and defend to his heart's content, which still wasn't enough. Horror struck him suddenly, his heart skipping a beat as the reality weighed it down, it was like piercing glass had just impaled him, leaving a knot in his chest and throat as the obvious had sunk in.

Vanessa and Platyborg were alone with them.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Vanessa was about ready to punch both of these geysers in the face. She didn't care if these _were_ her grandparents. They had no right to say _ANY_ of what they're saying right now. She and Platyborg were sitting opposite their grandparents on the couch. The cyborg was just frowning and Vanessa look about ready to be in a fit of rage. They started off talking about how pathetic a son and father Doofenshmirtz was for multiple reasons, how he never took them to visit their home and other crap. _Then _they started talking to Platyborg in a way that made the teen turn almost red in anger.

"Mein gott, child. Did you have an accident? Is that why you look like that?" Doof's mother cupped the cyborgs face and then grabbed hold of one of his skinny metal arms "You are so skinny, is my son not feeding you? Sie armer Junge," She said and then repeated in translation "You poor boy."

That was when Vanessa first frowned. So, they thought Platyborg was a human before some accident? What?

"Ich fühle mich so leid für dich…" Their grandmother said, then again, repeated in translation. "I feel so sorry for you." She then continued in plain English "Having to deal with my son every day…" She took a sip of the tea Platyborg had gotten for her "Must be a pain. That's why we try to get rid of long time ago."

Their grandfather uttered an agreement and sipped his coffee as well. Vanessa eyed them curiously.

"What do you mean _'tried to get rid of'_?"

It was then that Doofenshmirtz joined them in the living room, or more like lunge himself in, he looked panicked and flushed from running. He took some deep breaths before greeting his parents. "Hallo Mama und Papa, wie haben Sie gewesen?"

"For heaven's sake Heinz, speak English, these children have no idea what you're saying…" His mom told him and he nodded.

"Yes, right…" Doofenshmirtz nodded "So, uh, should we eat now or wait or-" He was nervous, why was he so nervous around them? He didn't show fear as a child, why the hell was he doing it now?!

"You are stuttering like a goat, boy, and you are upsetting your father. Sie aufhören zu sprechen." His mother said and then translated "Please stop speaking."

Vanessa was getting furious slowly by the second, Doofenshmirtz silenced himself and Platyborg blinked, 'oofing' as Vanessa elbowed him in the stomach for forgetting to say his line.

"I'm hungry." The cyborg suddenly stated.

Vanessa smiled widely, acting excited "So am I! I am absolutely excited to taste the dinner my father has made for you."

Doofenshmirtz blinked. Wait, what? He didn't- "Wait, what? I didn't-" His daughter elbowed him also, giving him a look that made him silence himself even quicker than his parents could.

"Ah, yes." His mother nodded, leading herself and her husband into the dining room. "Your father is hungry and real men must eat immediately when they want to." She pat her granddaughter's cheek "Unlike your father, child."

Vanessa glared daggers after them, grabbing Platyborg's hand and stomping into the dining room. The cyborg was lurched forward as he struggled to keep up to her pace, and Doofenshmirtz solemnly followed all of them. Hoping this night didn't end with him raiding his liquor cabinet, which was the exact outcome last year and the year before that and any other times his parents visited. This year probably wasn't going to be any different than any other in the seemingly endless cycle. He just started allowing them in the same room as his kids, any other visit would have been strictly between himself and them. Why? Because he didn't want them to have anything to do with Vanessa and Platyborg. They were horrible people that ruined his life and he wanted to shield Vanessa and Platyborg from the same horrible people that had ruined his life. It was nothing more than that.

Yes, he hated his parents and just the thought of them made him want to do something one can only describe as illegal. But for now, for his kids' sake, he'd stay silent. They deserved loving grandparents and they were going to get them even if he had to pull all his hair out later to do it. It was only for tonight. One night and he didn't have to deal with them until next year, that is, unless they decide to waltz in for Christmas-

No. Tonight. It was only for tonight.

* * *

They all took their seats at the incredibly long table in the dining room. Doofenshmirtz faintly ignoring the fact that his father took his throne at head of the table- yes, I said throne. It was literally a purple and red throne, the fanciest chair in that entire dining hall- yes; it is a hall because the table is about the same length as three, two-car garages. The table was a darker pinkish, reddish, color. The lights hanging above them lit strictly two from where Alt. Doof's dad was sitting at the head of the table to two seats after where Doofenshmirtz was sitting on the side of the table. Only five seats were visible per long side of the table, Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa and Platyborg sat on that side in a line while Alt Doof's mom sat on the other length and side of the table nearer to her husband. The rest of the overly large and long room was pitch black dark so only where they were seated was brightly visible and lit. The food put out in front of them and a cute, train with train tracks in shape of an '8'. It 'chooed' occasionally and went around the table. It seemed like a cool idea to get it at the time, but in the echoing silence, Doofenshmirtz was just embarrassed.

Vanessa took over the conversation yet again, not that there was one to begin with. The girl was just good at starting discussions. "I'll start off then and maybe Platyborg can tell you about the small accident he had earlier this week when he, uh…got his hand stuck in the garbage disposal while making creamed corn." She thought it'd be best to get a understanding of what happened now while things were going okay. Maybe he'd cool down and they'd get less heat later. She nodded for the cyborg to go ahead while she reached over to get some potato soup.

Platyborg blinked and looked away from Doofenshmirtz realizing expression. "Well, uh, I was making creamed corn and-"

The rest trailed off as Doofenshmirtz zoned out. So _that's_ how he hurt his hand then. He started thinking of what he could do to fix it later. He'd need a blowtorch definitely to melt the metal back into place, he couldn't hammer it back… But what if there were pieces missing? He supposed he could just replace the whole hand casing, but that would definitely take a while…

"Heinz!"

The man in question blinked, jumping as his mother's voice brought him out of his planning thoughts. All sets of eyes were on him. What, did he do something while he wasn't listening? What could he possibly have done to make them hate him, this time?

"It is your turn to take food and stop slouching! Vat have I told you?" His mother scolded him in her accent.

It was then that Doofenshmirtz actually took a look at the food and realized something was wrong. The pies and oddly enough the creamed corn, were the only two things that looked fine. Everything else looked….well, questionable…

The turkey- already sliced and shredded –looked cooked, yes, but had a smell of dish soap to it. So did the pasta. The mashed potatoes, well, was basically a milky liquid and the stuffing was the weirdest of all. It was purple, and glowing a neon, greenish color, that looked kind of familiar to-

Doofenshmirtz blinked for a moment, and then frantically checked his clothes and every pocket on him, not finding what he was looking for in the end.

Platyborg was about to scoop some creamed corn into his mouth, but stopped to ask Doof a question. "Hey Doof, did you lose something?"

"Is everything alright, dad?" His daughter asked him and the answer was absolutely no.

The vial of Pizzazium Infinionite he kept on hand was gone and he had all of his mind set to think that it was in that weird, purple, _glowing_, stuffing. He turned to his daughter, trying to ask without spilling any beans or arising concern in his parents. "Vanessa…I forgot what ingredients I put in that stuffing over there, uh…remind me again, what _green_ ingredients did I put in there exactly?"

Vanessa blinked "Uh, well, you put this little green vial you found on the counter and you are deeply sorry if that wasn't supposed to go in there…" She chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of her head and blushing.

That confirmed it. There was Pizzazium Infinionite in the weird, purple, stuffing and he had no idea what affect it would have on humans if consumed. It could be anything, ranging from death to paralyzation to a bad skin rash. He didn't think he could risk it and started apologizing to the four sitting around him "I am really sorry, but, what I put in there, I put by a complete and horrid accident and we, cannot, eat that, so I'll just push that off to the side so no one touches it-"

"Nein!" His father exclaimed suddenly, in an angry tone and his mother translated his reasons for disagreeing.

"Your father has had peculiar, purple, stuffing for years in a row. One does not simply change tradition, you know." His mother told him, oddly enough in a polite way.

"Vater zuliebe-" Heinz tried but his father cut him off violently.

"BEWEGEN SICH NICHT!" His father yelled at him and Doofenshmirtz froze in place, glaring, doing as his father wanted, and NOT moving…

The elder man nodded his dominance and- much to his son's dismay –took a spoonful of the glowing, neon, weird, purple and green, contaminated, food substance. Everyone held their breath as he chewed slowly and swallowed it, sitting down satisfied and smug. He coughed and everyone looked highly concerned before he excused himself then went silent.

Vanessa and Platyborg sighed in relief, but the glowing, neon, weird, purple and green, contaminated, food substance wasn't finished with the man, yet.

Doofenshmirtz watched as his father turned blue in the face and then started coughing and gasping for air. The older male was not pleased one bit and was quick to pin the blame on his son who rolled his eye to respond.

"Sie Schande für einen Sohn!" His father pointed at him, tripping over his own feet and kneeling against the table, looking like he was having some type of allergic reaction "You try to kill me again!"

"Again?" Vanessa questioned and the cyborg next to her just watched on, haven never seen a person go from white to blue to red before. It was exciting for the little guy and something he'd definitely never forget.

The senior Doofenshmirtz was coughing so violently that things fell out of his pocket, including his leather wallet, a heirloom that has been passed down to the first born son's in every generation. It "oddly" skipped Heinz generation for some reason…

Vanessa said she'd get it and got down under the table to gather and return her grandfather's things. While picking up the loose change, some relics and other articles of weird caliber, she noticed something inside the open wallet, something- much like Platyborg's interesting experience –she'd _never_ be able to forget. She got up looking disturbed and shocked by all means, like she had seen a ghost, staring at her grandparents in pure disgust and…I think some revulsion was thrown into that mix.

Her father eyed her curiously, and back at his silent parents. One out of the four were about to say something when some nibbling was heard, all adults and teen turning to Platyborg, who, in fact, was eating the glowing, neon, weird, purple and green, contaminated, food substance without complication. In other words, he was perfectly fine and the food was completely harmless.

Vanessa of course, was the first to call the bluff "You'd lie about food just to get your son in trouble?"

Her grandfather was quick to try and put her in her place. "Man hört hier-"

"No, _you_ listen here!" She yelled back at him, translating what he had said "You're wrong about him, you're wrong about me, you're wrong about my brother, and you're wrong with just about everything you do!" Vanessa glared, everyone else in the room went dead silent as she continued her outburst "He-" She pointed to her father "Is the best, damn, father in the entire universe! And yes, I am something of a female dog, in case you were wondering, and I will _bite you _if you say the wrong things in front of me, and _junge _have you been saying the wrong things to my face. Platyborg _isn't _dysfunctional and there's nothing wrong with the way he looks!"

"Yeah!" Platyborg chimed in, glaring and pointing out. "Platyborg is sexy!"

"You should be ashamed of yourselves!" Vanessa continued "This is your own _son_, your first born! He should be treated with respect, far more than your younger should! I actually feel sorry, for you pieces of trash, because that's all your worth! If you died, right now, I wouldn't care, Platyborg wouldn't care, my father sure wouldn't!"

"Vanessa please-" Doofenshmirtz tried to stop her but she kept going.

"I'll stop." She said, directed at her grandparents who she had not taken her icy glare off of since she started her rant "But only because my father told me to and I _respect _him, unlike you pieces of rubbish. You both should go die in a hole." Vanessa threw down her napkin, storming away from the table, making a distant slam as her bedroom door was slammed after she was out of sight.

The rest of dinner was sought out in silence.

* * *

**A/N: This is the more** **intense and maybe violent and depressing part and more into depth of what happened to Alt. Doof and his sister, if you want to end here then just know that Platyborg finds himself very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very sexy.**

* * *

"Hey dad."

Doofenshmirtz looked up from his desk at his daughter, dinner long since being over. His parents had gone and Platyborg had already been put to bed for the night. "Hey pumpkin, what are you still doing up?"

"I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier, it's just- …the way they were treating you, and Platyborg, I just snapped and-"

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I don't?"

"I'm so proud of you."

"You are?" She looked confused "Why? I literally told my own grandparents to go die in their own graves. What happened to respect for your elders and other crap like that?"

He stood up, walking around his desk to hug her "Sweetheart, they don't deserve it. They don't even deserve the meal you and Platyborg attempted to make for them…"

"Was it that bad?"

"What? No! You two did great! And I'm proud of Platyborg too."

Vanessa remembered something, speaking into her father's shoulder "How's his hand doing?"

"He'll be fine, easily fixable. How are _you _feeling?"

"I don't know…" She admitted "Tired, angry, frustrated, disgusted…"

"I wanted to ask you…" Doofenshmirtz trailed off, pulling back from their embrace "What did you find in his wallet that made you so disturbed?"

She closed her eyes, sighing and opening them back up. "Who's Canajorie?" Vanessa felt bad at the distant look her father gave her. Maybe she shouldn't have said anything. "Dad, look, you don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable-"

"No." He told her "It's about time somebody knew. I can't keep it bottle up any longer…" Doofenshmirtz sighed and started his story. "She was my sister…"

"Was?"

"Yes…"

"I'm so sorry…"

"Don't be…" He said to her "Not yet anyways, listen. There's this tradition, back in Gimmelschtump where if you don't want a child, then you have the right to terminate it…"

"So, like abortion?"

"No. Gimmelschtump isn't that high tech. If they performed one, no one would survive it. The process I'm talking about is called 'Termination'. In general, yes, you are aborting the child, but, they get rid of it _after _it's born."

"They kill it?"

"Yes."

"They can't-" Vanessa started to argue.

"They can, and they have. Countless times."

"But that's wrong! If you do that here you'd get a life sentence!"

"And if you do it in Gimmelschtump, you get honor. It shows dominance, I guess, that you are in control of your household." Doofenshmirtz continued "The process isn't complicated; anyone with little to no brain could accomplish it, which worries me deeply about how many idiots would want to and have done it. You have to blind the child first, that is tradition, so they cannot see what you are doing to them. They boil this hot liquid until it's smoldering and then they-" He stopped himself "You might be able to guess the next part. After the child can't see, a knife is held up high, so it is touched by the sun and then brought down into the dark. It is to be brought down once, and only once, then the baby is left alone…to let Mother Nature decide its fate…"

"But the fate is obvious!"

"Not always…"

"So, she lived?"

"I followed them after they left the house and walked into the forest, it is almost never done in the home, that shows as a sign of disrespect. I hid behind a tree and watched them. I didn't know what they were doing until after they poured the liquid, when I first heard her cry. I was confused and I hesitated. If they saw I followed them they'd get angry but that's not what I should have been worried about. My baby sister was being _killed_ and I was only a few feet away, debating if I should risk being in trouble or not. That's when they brought out the knife, lifting it up high before bringing it down once. I was frozen on the spot, a small flashback making me realize what was going on, made me realize what they were doing, I recognized the knife. They were 'terminating' a pregnancy and that little bundle was related to me. They tossed the knife to the casually, marking that as the last time they were ever going to use it. I waited until they were gone to run out to it. Oddly enough, there wasn't any blood anywhere. I lifted the little flap over its face. It was nothing gruesome. Her eyes were closed and bruised a slightly purple. She couldn't open them but it was obvious that they did a gentle job on her and they took their time. She was pale, a little lock of cocoa brown hair stuck out above her eyebrows. She was silent and I wondered for a second if she was already gone. She stirred and I let out my breath, which I didn't even know I was holding. I reached out a finger to touch and a small hand closed around my finger. She was so small, so vulnerable, it was amazing that she was able to find my finger to hold, despite being completely blind and wounded. She couldn't have been more than a few days old. I picked her up and cradled her, she still stayed silent as I walked with her. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't bring her back home because they'd just take her from me and try to hurt her again, I couldn't go anywhere else so I stayed where I was. I sat under the tree I had been hiding behind just moments before and sat her in my lap, just looking at her. She was definitely my sister, no doubt about it. We looked slightly similar, maybe that was why they didn't want her. She reminded them so much of me. Unlike me and Roger, her face was a complete circle as opposed to mine triangular and Roger's being sort of square. She had the exact same color hair as me and texture too. Hers was softer, and thicker, and fuller. She was perfect and I bet her eyes would have been beautiful, if only they had been given a chance, to see light, to see love, to look back at someone who loved her. I did. I fell in love with her right then and there. I questioned the whole world, the universe and all its moralities. How could the world choose this fate for her? Why not me? I'm not special, not like her. She was absolutely perfect, there was nothing wrong with her…"

Vanessa listened, her heart was breaking, but she still listened to her father's words.

"I stayed with her through the night and held her close, keeping her warm and feeding her some berries I kept in my pocket just in case my parents ever 'forgot' to let me back in the house. She ate all of them quickly and I wished I had more food to give her. Snow started to fall and I saw her silently yawn. She was tired, and so was I. We were the same for a moment as we both fell asleep. I realized that she had it worse than I did. She couldn't fight against what happened to her and she was completely blind, me being only half. We fell asleep and it seemed like only moments had past when I woke up again. It was morning I think and it was time to get up, I nudged her a bit to wake her up. Today was the day I had planned to run-away from home, and I now planned to take her with me. I'd love her more than anyone else possibly could, I was sure of it! But when I looked down at her, she looked different. She wasn't moving and she wasn't warm anymore. She was gone…. She was gone and there was nothing I could do to help her. I caressed her in my arms, mourning my little sister, and that's when I found a small piece of parchment hidden in the fabric around her. I unrolled it, reading the name aloud in a whisper. Canajorie Doofenshmirtz. That was her name and it was perfect, just like she was. I set her under the tree, taking small pebbles and placing them in a complete circle around her. I found a flower, it was almost as perfect as she was. I now know that it was called a Lily. I put it on top of her, I told her that I loved her and I left, going back home, lost in all my thoughts and sorrows. I wanted to be alone but more importantly I wanted to be with her, I wanted to care for her and love her, give her the love she deserved. I wanted to accomplish these things so badly…and knowing that I couldn't just pained me as I looked upon my house. She could have lived here…. I walked through the front door and was met by the two people I absolutely did not want to see at that point. They were angry with me, giving me stern looks. Good, they could kill me. I hoped they would. They didn't of course and simply asked me where I was. I didn't answer and my father pushed me, again, demanding where I was. When I didn't answer a third time, he struck me but I didn't care. He noticed the piece of paper in my hands and tore it away from me, my mother stopped me from trying to get it back. He took one look at the paper, read over my sister's name and told me to go to my room. I glared at them and didn't move, funny, how the one time they tell me to move, I don't. He had had enough of my arrogance and grabbed me by my arm, practically dragging me and throwing me into my room, locking the door behind me. I never saw my sister or her name ever again. I used to write it sometimes, just to give myself some closure and to honor her. It was many years later that I found out her birthday. July 14…"

"Doofen's Day" Vanessa noted and her father nodded.

"Yes…It's a day of silence, for her…"

Her father trailed off and she stayed silent herself, until he spoke up again after a while, gathering more thoughts in his head.

"Sometimes I blame myself for what happened to her…"

"It's not your fault, you were a child and you had no one on your side, there was nothing you could have done." She tried explaining to him but he just shook his head.

"You don't understand." He shook his head, turning away from her. "They tried to terminate me too…and they can only do it once a lifetime." Doofenshmirtz continued with more force in his voice "_If_ I would have just let them kill me then they couldn't have touched her. She would still be alive right now and I wouldn't exist…"

"What do you mean 'if you would have just let them'? Isn't this done at an early age? If you were an infant you wouldn't be able to fight back."

"My parents were stupid." He told her, turning around. "They decided that they didn't want me too late. There isn't an age range on this but its more common to do it early. I was barely even eight when they tried to terminate me, I was too young but way too old at the same time. I remember only parts of that night, they led me out into the forest and told me to lie down, don't move, I obeyed, because I trusted them. I was a little concerned but I shrugged it off. They were my parents right, they would do no harm by me. I watched as they took out the kettle they had brought from the house before we left. It was the same one that was on last night and boiling well through the morning. My mother drank tea so I just thought…" The memory seemed painful and he just shook his head, throwing the rest of the sentence away. "My father poured whatever was in that kettle into a small dish, then he hovered it over my face. My mother restrained my arms and that's when I was the most confused. They made several mistakes with this process. They all had to do with misjudgment. They misjudged in the right time to do this to me, my father misjudged his sight and balance and he spilled a drop of it on my skin, started to fight them and they misjudged my strength. They both struggled to restrain me, and my father- with one hand –poured the liquid, or more like dumped it on my face. I can't describe what I felt as my sight disappeared from both of my eyes, one from the treatment and one was clouded with tears and I screamed. A hand covered my mouth and they used their combined weight to pin me down. I opened my one eye just in time to see him holding a knife high above me. I bit his hand and he hissed obscenities at me, he brought the knife down once, and then twice, a third time for good measure, but all three times he missed me. He was about to bring it down a fourth time when my mom stopped him. He had broken so many traditions, that my mother started praying frantically, begging whatever god we were supposed to believe in for forgiveness. My father just glared down at me and I reached a hand to my ruined eye. Blood covered my hand when I pulled it back, it was definitely a hack job compared to my sisters, but I wouldn't know that until two years later when I witnessed it. They left me, successfully performing the last tradition. I lied there in the snow, shaking and speechless. I was confused, I was hurt and I was lost. I notice a pain in my right shoulder, turns out one of those times he didn't miss me. Obviously I got up and went back home and I was one of those rare occasions when the baby _did_ make it back home. Do you know that saying, 'If you love something let it go and if it comes back to you it is meant to be yours'?"

His daughter nodded.

"Well it's more like 'if you don't want something, throw it away and if it comes back to you then you're pretty much stuck with it'." Doofenshmirtz smiled at the sad joke "My parents never loved me…and that's why I try so hard to give you two the love and protection you both very well deserve. I love the both of you very much." He said and was met by another embrace.

"Dad?"

"Yes, angel?"

Vanessa laughed, cracking a smile "What would you do if anyone tried to…well, 'terminate' us?"

"Kill them, then throw their body into a sandpaper factory, write my name on the corpse, be proud of doing it…" Doofenshmirtz listed casually.

His daughter rolled her eyes and they both laughed, a small and tired voice yawned in the doorway. Platyborg stared at both of them, rubbing his eyes.

"I'm sorry Platyborg, we didn't mean to be so loud in talking." The man told him and the cyborg nodded, coming into the room near them.

"It's okay, I'm not that tired." The cyborg said, obviously thinking that this was an excuse to stay up late. He always found a lot of those and it didn't go unnoticed by the other two who gave each other a knowing look.

Vanessa smirked at the cyborg "You can stay up if you want, but we're talking about _very_ adult things and I don't think you'd be able to _handle_ it."

Platyborg accepted the challenge "I'm a cyborg and I'm sexy, I can handle anything!" Sounding determined and folding him arms over his chest.

"Alright then." She smiled and then turned to her dad "So dad, remind me again where babies come from…"

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

Doofenshmirtz just laughed.


End file.
